What Pregnant Women Need to Know
During a time of uncertainty and fear…
Over the past 100+ years, as a society, we have been taught that the process of birth is safest in the hospital. This has been taught because hospitals are designed to handle emergencies. Hospitals have quick access to sterile environments so that, when it’s needed, cesarean surgery can happen quickly and save both mother and child.
Why do we, as a society, believe that the hospital is the safest place for birth to happen? Why do we, as a society, believe that a surgeon must be present in order for birth to be safest? There has never been a study done in 100+ years that assesses the real safety of birth in the hospital. Birth outside the hospital had been the norm literally since the beginning of time.
Is it time for women to take birth back home?
I’ve studied and taught women about their bodies and the birth process since 2005. What has been perfectly clear to me is that there has never been a time in the history of the world that there were enough “skilled professionals” to support every single pregnant and birthing woman. This is historical fact! This is also why birth was designed to be safe. Whether you believe in creationism or evolution it’s vital to understand that neither the obstetrician nor the midwife were the first ones on the planet. This also means that hospital weren’t here first either.
Here’s some of what we all need to know about birth:
(1) It Takes Three
In my articles, the significant other — in most cases, the baby’s father — is included as an important partner in this process. Pregnant women need supportive partners who are “all in” and participate in the pregnancy not just conception and birth. Partners who will help her research all aspects of whatever she believes she needs to know. Partners who will attend as many prenatal visits as possible, be fully present during the birth, learn all there is to know about the postpartum period and breastfeeding, and remain by her side for all the parenting choices ahead.
When the birthing process begins, it will take all three of you — mother, father and baby — to bring the baby into the world. Each one plays a role in this process. Yes, I do understand that not all fathers are present for the birth. While many may say that birth is “woman’s” work, there is a role that only a man can play. It’s important for us all to understand the man does have a role in bringing a baby into the world.
For some women, having her sweetheart sitting quietly in the room will be all that she needs to add his strength to hers. Other women will need more hands-on and/or verbal support. It’s important for you to have open communication with each other so that you will each hear what is being said.
You already feel safe and comfortable with him. In most cases, you have welcomed him into the most protected areas within and know he can be trusted. This trust and feelings of being loved and understood allow your body to freely produce and use oxytocin. Anyone who is allowed into your safe space will need to know how to leave their own insecurities and fears outside because you — the birthing woman — will feel what everyone else is feeling.
Two important questions to answer are:
- What do you need from your sweetheart or other birth partner during pregnancy?
- What do you expect from your sweetheart or other birth partner during the birthing process?
(2) Your Baby
You are growing a new human being inside of you. This little person is already fully aware of his surroundings. He hears everything you say and he feels everything you feel. He doesn’t know that those things you’re saying and feeling have names. He can’t tell you that you’re afraid but he can feel it when you are. Talk with him frequently throughout the day. He’s fully engaged. His cells began imprinting memories and emotional patterns before his body was even formed. (To learn more about what your baby knows before emerging into this world, go to www.BirthPsychology.com)
You’re going to view the human baby very differently as you read through my articles. What you do, what you say and how you feel leaves an imprint on him now. Don’t panic if you’ve already said or felt some things you wish you hadn’t. Your little person is very forgiving. Apologize and do better now that you know better. (To learn more, read The Secret Life of the Unborn Child by Thomas Verney, MD)
(3) What About the Spiritual Side?
There is a side of this process few people talk about ~ the spiritual side. The spiritual side of the human being effects all other aspects of the human being. The spiritual side is much more than just being religious; it is present in one’s life regardless of personal religious belief. Some may refer to it as their conscience, subconscious, intuition, etc. Most women talk about feeling there is something more to the birth process than they had previously known. There is an inner wisdom or voice that may be discovered.
Our society doesn’t speak about the spiritual side of birth enough; if at all. Everyone is trying to be “politically correct” but the truth is that the spiritual side is just as real and important as the physical, mental and emotional sides. Expectant women who spend time developing the spiritual side of the birth process may experience a more fulfilling birth as they tap into the most powerful side of being human.
How does one develop their spiritual side? This can be done in a variety of ways. Some will choose to study the scriptures and kneel in prayer while others will choose to meditate or spend time in silence each day. Writing in a journal is another way to tap into the spiritual side of birth as well as life in general. Writing down the experiences of the day helps to clear the mind. Writing down the emotions experienced allows you to put them into perspective. How about spending time alone each day when you can be present in that moment and experience the pregnancy instead of focusing on getting ready for the baby or living in the future?
There’s also the need for you to trust yourself and trust what you hear from your mind that feels right in your heart. This is your intuition and it’s a very real thing. It is a part of your spirit. You might be completely unaware of what your intuition is or you may be very aware of it because you already work with it daily. The point is that your intuition guides you through the birth process. This is why it’s important to be the one in complete charge of your experience. It’s vital that you are the one allowing others into your sacred space. If you think you need permission from someone in order to do things the way you desire, then you’re allowing the wrong person/people into your sacred space.
How one chooses to develop the spiritual side will depend upon the individual and is very personal. How will you develop this side of your life?
What can you do to strengthen your intuition?
(4) Be Present
Birth requires presence of mind although many may find themselves thinking about the past or future. Taking the time to be “in the moment” during pregnancy will make it easier to be “in the moment” during the birthing process. There are a variety of ways to bring yourself to the “here and now.”
One is to literally bring yourself to now when you realize you’re thinking about the past or the future. Neither the past nor the future will benefit you right now. All there is in this moment is this moment and this moment and this moment. Your baby needs you to be still every now and then and just sit in the silence.
Another is to be still with your baby and tune into what is happening with your body. Notice where you feel tension, notice what emotion you’re feeling, notice what your baby is doing inside you. Just sit and notice what is happening right now and now and now.
Essential oils can support you in being present as well and do not remove the significance of being still. I highly recommend using Young Living essential oils because of their seed to seal process. This process aids in their essential oils being certified non-GMO and better than organic. Young Living has the essential oil blends of Grounding and Present Time that support your body in being grounded and “in the moment.” Other Young Living essential oils that can be used for feeling more grounded are:
- Idaho Blue Spruce
- Northern Lights Black Spruce
- Patchouli
- Vetiver
- Angelica
These essential oils can be either diffused or diluted 50/50 and applied topically. Heating essential oils is not recommended so a cool mist diffuser is best. Oils can be diluted with a carrier oil, like Young Living V-6 Mixing oil, Jojoba, extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil, avocado oil, almond oil, etc. These essential oils may also be applied undiluted (neat), however, if you see a red spot appear where you applied the essential oil, apply a carrier oil over it. Layering allows for instant dilution. If this happens, you now know that the essential oil used will need to be diluted before using it topically again.
Feel free to contact me with any questions you may have about using essential oils during pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. What are some other things you can do to be present?
And Finally…Words Matter
As you read the articles I write for Private Womb please understand that I do not nor will I ever refer to birth as a “delivery” because this is an inaccurate term. Women do not deliver babies. Women birth babies. The man-made baby delivery system™ is where women deliver babies into someone else’s hands so that person can hand the baby to the mother. In the man-made baby delivery system™, that person is often times referred to as “the care provider” and seen as the safety mechanism for birth. Meaning that their presence is what makes birth “safe” and this is not the truth. Birth does not need a middle-man (or woman) in order to be safe.
Birth was designed to be safe. It is when someone interferes with birth that things become risky. This means inducing, augmenting, managing, allowing, etc are all part of interfering with birth.
This does not mean that it’s never necessary to intervene during birth. Interventions, such as cesarean surgery, do save lives. Sadly, most interventions are used inappropriately and this will be discussed further in my articles.
My articles teach you about birth from all sides; mind, emotion, body, and spirit. They also teach about birth in regards to the whole family; father, mother, child. I’m going to introduce you to some information that you’ve most likely never considered before, such as clearing away past emotional traumas and experiences along with the roles played by the father and baby in the entire process of birth.
Some of what I will write about won’t be found anywhere else. They are things I’ve learned along the way that are contrary to what is currently taught in all other resources surrounding birth. Home birth midwives are not learning what I’ve learned. Much of what midwives are taught involves brining the man-made baby delivery system™ into your home where it absolutely does not belong. What routinely happens to women inside the hospital significantly increases risks to both mother and child when it happens inside their home.
(If you enjoyed this article, purchase my book — Embracing Birth: wholistic childbirth education (a home study course) — from Amazon)
